The things people say

   I've been thinking a lot lately about what people say to make you feel better when you are going through a tragedy. Many try to say positive things, but sometimes it can come out ohhh so wrong. Now don't get it twisted, I like surrounding myself with positive people, but I also want honesty. I have only a small hand full of people that can do this for me. It can be a whole different story with most other people.
   One of the number one things that people say to try to be positive is "You are strong-you will be ok." I don't so much mind the "you are strong" but the "you will be ok" part is just stupid and quite honestly - dismissive. Did you really hear what I just said?! Are you listening to me at all?! There is a reason they call it "terminal" illness - and it is not because you are going to be ok. Sometimes, it is the most surprising when people of my own family say I'm going to be ok. I feel as though they are either in denial or they think I do not know the gravity of my own situation- so they lie. When it is those who are in denial, I feel bad for them and somehow have a need to comfort them. However, when it's people who know damn well what they are saying is a bunch of crap because they think that is what I want to hear- it irritates me. I would rather have honesty. Let me feel what I need to feel and quit trying to say what you think will make me feel better. I would much rather people say "I don't know what to say, and even if I did, it would not make you feel better." Because that is truth. Or something like "I love you, and will be there for you, no matter what" is also good. It is loving, supportive AND honest. Well... that is assuming that person will really be there for you- because some people have made that false as well. I do not need a magic statement to make it all better, because the reality is...there isn't one, and thats ok...
    There are also people who speak of the "Law of Attraction." The "Law of Attraction" is supposed to be where you invision the outcome of what you want with positive thinking and it comes to you. And with this "Law" people have told me that I have the power to choose whether I "stay" or "go" - whatever outcome I choose. Really? Is that so? So if I wish hard enough and absolutely, positively believe that gravity does not apply to me, I can jump off the Empire State building? Umm... I don't know about you, but I'm not willing to take that step. Besides, I think it is pretty freaking obvious which outcome I desire. I want to live!!!
   Another big thing that I do not particularly want to hear again is "Just have faith that God will heal you." Ahhh... that would be nice, but why would he/she choose me out of everyone. There are children dying everyday of cancer, why didn't God heal them? Is it really because they did not have enough faith? I find that does not sit well with me. The bottom line is - it's much better to be simple and honest. Just give me a hug or let me vent to you without feeling like you need to have to right response - there isn't one!! Sometimes just having the company of someone holding me without words, speaks louder than any other thing in the world.