I recently went on a trip to L.A to visit my best friend Mina. I had a blast! But, I couldn't help but compare myself to others out there. Pretty much everyone is successful in some way, shape, or form- out there it is usually form. EVERYONE I came into contact with either owns their own buisness, or is getting their masters or doctoral degree. Don't get me wrong, it is nice to be surrounded by driven individuals, but me having cancer drastically changes my plans of success. In social situations- how do you say "Well, fighting cancer is my full-time job right now." How do you explain your future plans to new people without going into talking about cancer? I don't know what your experience is with talking about cancer, but for me, it tends to dampen the mood.
In these situations, I usually say I'm a massage therapist because I am nationally certified- but I find people then like to ask "where do you work?" or "how many people do you massage in a day?" And of course because I'm doing radiation everyday I'm not currently working. Awkward. The most simple questions tend to be the hardest, especially if I don't want to get into everything. I can talk about travel, goals, and life in general - very in depth things with new people, but the simple questions are what really gets me.
So needless to say, at first it was very intimidating to come across so many successful and might I add- competitive people all in one place.( L.A) After a while though, I started to realize I am just as successful in my own way. I have been fighting cancer since I was 14 years old. During that, I graduated high school with good grades and on time, then I went to and finished massage school, all while fighting for my life every single day. I have grown exponentially throughout the last 6 1/2years and have an appreciation for life that is unexplainable. I enjoy every moment, instead of constantly looking ahead to what I still need to accomplish. I have already defied the odds with my disease many times. Ummm...yeah, I think I am quite accomplished if I do say so myself:)
However, it did take me awhile to come to this conclusion, and I do still occasionally feel the yearning to know what it would be like to finish college, get a degree and a normal life. OK...maybe I don't want a "normal" life- that would be boring, but you get what I'm saying. Ultimately though, I am proud of myself, and what I've accomplished. It is nice to have this self knowledge and although it will ALWAYS be hard to answer the simple questions, I now have the inner knowing that I am just as good as a buisness owner, pre-med student, or someone getting their final degree.
Isn't it horrible how it is acceptable to ask people what they "do"? It just shows that the person asking you that wants to categorize or judge you, maybe to deal with their own insecurities. In some countries (like France), asking someone their occupation is considered very rude. Occupation, degrees, and finances do not matter at all. What truly counts is someone's character and passion.
ReplyDeleteOf course, you are incredibly accomplished with your fight against cancer, schooling, and extracurricular activities. What is so extraordinary about you is how you do it all with such style, grace, intelligence, and wit. Do not let those others get you down!