Sick Caregivers

    A caregiver: Someone who devotes themselves to taking care of their sick loved one. My mother has fullfilled that role for me completely. Over the years, there has not been one time that I needed her, that she wasn't there for me. She is an amazing woman. But let us not forget that all amazing women and all great caregivers have their problems too. My mom has Degenerative Arthritis, Osteoarthritis, and Fibromyalgia. Those are just the "big things" - not to mention the bursitis in her shoulders and TMJ in her jaw.
   Before I was diagnosed with my cancer, my mom was completely healthy. She was not diagnosed with any of her diseases either. Over the years, it seems the sicker I got, the sicker she got as well. Is this purely coincidence? Or does being a constant caregiver of a loved one for years, wear on you more than just mentally? I'm guessing since it has been found that your mental health has much to do with how you cope with your physical  health - that it is quite possible this lifestyle caused her health to deteriorate as well. When I say this lifestyle, I mean her being a caregiver (of course), but on top of an already incredibly hard job, she is a single mother with two other children besides me, and the sole bread winner of this family with having one of the most stressful jobs of being a police officer- in the worst area in Milwaukee. WOW!! Was that a run-on sentence? Imagine the real thing... Essentially, she deals with people who scream and swear at her all day, who do not appreciate her service - deals with life and death, think on your toes situations at work , THEN comes home and deals with the tragic life and death situation of cancer. DAMN! Another run-on?
   This woman has the most stressful life I have ever seen - and yes -that includes me with the life-threatning illness. Needless to say, this woman needs a little caregiving herself. So finally, she is trying to catch up on her own health. This includes surgery she has been putting off for far to long- due to focusing on my health. My mom had shoulder surgery about two weeks ago on her right side...which is her dominant one (can this woman get a break?). I got to be there for her surgery, and take care of her afterwards. The role reversal is nice because we each get a small taste of each other's usual experience. Unfortunatly, I had surgery a few days later for a biopsy of my bone marrow and started a new chemo. I , however, am still more mobile than my mom is at this point, so I make sure I help her as much as I can - even feeling like crap. It dawned on me, that this is what my mom goes through all the time with me...It was very eye-opening for me.
    It's actually been quite comical around here. Which ever one of us feels the best tries to help the other. Two sick people taking care of each other- Now that is what I call HARD-CORE caregiving...
    My mom is also due to have jaw joint replacement surgery in the beginning of May. She won't even be fully recovered from this shoulder surgery! And who the hell knows what i'll be doing - my health status changes by the hour... I feel the need to give my mom serious props- she is a BAD ASS! I know that no matter how screwed-up we both might be, we will always be there for each other. Who says the sick taking care of the sick doesn't work? In fact, I say what better caregiver than someone who knows EXACTLY how you feel. Ok,Ok...maybe the sick taking care of the sick is a little over exaggerated, but regardless -us sick caregivers are not alone. Caregivers are human too. Although, sometimes I wonder about my mom...I've never seen a human being quite like her:)